arbit

Coldplay is “singing loud and clear”. I am all confused, consumed and lost. No-one has confused me. I am lost sitting in my room. I know I’m not making much sense. I can’t help it. I’m helpless. To be frank, I’m quite hapless too. If God will send his angels, they will shudder. I love winamp. It’s playing coldplay songs one after another. I know these people never meant to cause me trouble. I’m too tiny a being for them to be troubling me. However there seems to be a lot of trouble in this world. God, I’m damn confused! I might well be a lunatic roaming about freely just because no-one cared to take me to a psychiatrist. Someone beat an empty bottle of water against my door. I wonder who it might have been. I wonder which song was it in which the singer sang “I wonder”. There are many more lunatics roaming around freely. The song is “Lemon tree”, by the way. An excellent song! Many more; and of much worse variety! I have been reading about a McMurphy, a fellow lunatic. I’m quite a slow reader. Right now, I don’t feel like reading. I’m writing. The lunatics fight. They are all around. They find a reason to fight. There are the bigger lunatics and the smaller ones. For some fighting is killing others. For others it may be outdoing others. For others it may be solving the jumble inside head. God knows if there is anyone who is at peace. God is also reason for many of the fights. So is country. So is money. So is ones well-being. Yet another coldplay song pleads: “Everything is not lost”. It can’t be. If everything is lost there would be no more fights. India won a gold medal and lost a test series. Kabhi khush kabhi gham was a terrible movie. I liked it though. If there would be no fights, would I be happy or sad? No answer. We are all elitists and egotists. We find some valid reason for our mistakes. While for others we find the harshest of words. “What if” is another coldplay song. What if we started looking through others’ eyes? I guess we’ll start killing ourselves.

FAT(E)al

Why did I clear JEE? If someone had asked this question about three years ago, back then, I would have told - to study. If the question pops up now, I would probably say - to forget studies and secure a decent future. Maybe 5-10 years down the line, if someone happens to ask me this same very question, the answer, I’m sure, is going to be starkly different. I feel my reply then would most likely be: “To watch movies…”

 

Oh no, all you people out there (in front of your respective computer/laptop screens), don’t you dare write it off as yet another thoughtless blabbering. In fact, all of you should commend me for this. Yeah, you for sure can’t figure out any genius here right? Well, sample this:

“You know, when I had sailed off in “The Pursuit of Indya”, I was very much hopeful of finding it. But little did I know then that God had different intentions. God was actually guiding me towards America...”

-          Christopher Columbus

(Discovery of America Speech – 1517)

 

Still didn’t get it? Come on! All right, all right! I am explaining. Christopher Columbus needed almost a quarter of a century to realize that God was playing a game with him. That all the glory and fame was just his destiny! And here I am, right in front of my laptop screen, in full consciousness knowing what God has been doing with me.

 

Why are all of you so blank? I can't believe it. What, you still don't get it? Well, all that I am trying to get into your thick-as-a-wall head is this: I have cracked God’s/Gods’ code. Well, it is not exactly “the code”; but it most certainly is a small sub-program/function, of “the code”, which takes care of the days I spend in IIT. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I hereby confirm that I now know what exactly this/these God/Gods are trying to do. I know this right now when He/She/They is/are all busy playing this very game with me.

 

Yes! finally you all get it, right? Don’t even dare say “No”! ;)

Main aur mera frustapa!

Frustness is really the “in” thing in Kgp, and given the god like omnipresence here it is here to stay, and stay long, maybe till eternity. Any given day you are bound to meet at least ‘n’ people who are frust to various degrees (here ulti frust is the most dominating one), ‘n’ tending to almost infinity. And yes the accomplishment of any arbit (un)predictable behaviour of any sort is very easily attributed to this very ailment of being frustrated, lovingly called frustness. Be it bunking all the classes or watching movies all night long or being involved in “thought provoking” bhaat sessions, there is one common reason which acts as an excuse for almost each and everyone over here.

Coming down to a more specific case, i.e. myself (yes, I love boring all of you with more and more of myself! And believe I will continue doing so!), currently I am frustness personified. I put forward to myself being frust as the reason for me to be writing this post at 4 am rather than sleeping. This after I have watched a couple of movies and haven’t possibly done a single positive thing all day long.

Since I have come to think of it now, I wonder why exactly I’m frust after all, if at all this is really the case. Not much success here either. This lack of finding a reason further aggravates the frustness in me! But to be very frank between sleeping in class almost continuously for 1.5 hrs, bhaat maaring during lab for another 1.5 hrs, frustrating a couple of friends, watching a couple of movies and talking over phone with papa and di for around an hour (whoa! I’m leading a damn hectic life out here) I don’t know how exactly I did manage to find time to get myself frust!

There seems to be no possible explanation. Unless it is being called all sort of names by friends or Sachin being given out on 99 or India actually going on to win the match or not eating sufficient khana, I can’t think of a reason. Yes, some of must have jumped at this last suggestion and thin that the case is all solved. But again I have had enough fillings of my stomach for me to be complaining. This might be the case but again a very improbable option. So here again I am left completely aghast at not being able to find this petty conclusion. Yes, one good reason might have been me being upset of my ever-makhaing acts. But had this been the case I would have killed myself at least four times given my expertise in this particular field. So sadly this last ray of hope is also lost in the oblivion.

So after this utterly butterly undiliciously unamul fault finding, I am left with just a further increase in frustness which in turn gives me reasons for the makhaing acts in future. So you know what exactly to blame for my next post. ;)

Adieu!

Frustness eraser.

First things first, I would like to extend my sincere (To whom it mat concern) heart felt thanks to all those who are reading this post even after the last two posts on this very catastrophic blog. Please do leave back a comment or two so that I have an account of the number of ”heart felt thanks” have I am now short of. Your comments will let me know that there are still very considerate, caring and brave people around me in this cruel world. I would also like to say sorry for the insanely frequent posts and for their lengths. Actually, quite unlike my belief, I seemed to have carried loads and loads of free time from Kharagpur to London. Also, as most of you must be aware, with not many new friends on my GTalk, finding a new ‘bakra’ to spend this invaluable time of mine chatting has also become very difficult (the absence of the LAN in Kgp isn’t helping either). Yes, you might say that I should study some books, learn a bit during this project. This is indeed a pretty good idea, but with me as the person to execute this brilliant idea, its not even a distant possibility. So, I am sorry once again that sadly it seems that you will have to bear with me once again.

So much for the “English mannerisms”. Moving on, all your comments and my loads of free time made me think, taking a leaf from Mr. Garam Samosa’s book (or should I say blog) , about this blog. Does this blog even deserve to present anywhere in the gloomiest corner of the web world (hope this world isn’t round and does have some corners) leave alone as prominently as a window in your computer screen? This blog, which till now has been my brainchild (yes, the brain is defective! Don’t dare say anything about the child.) did it deserve this birth? The writing which I do is that worth the pains I take? Oops! I seem to be running out of questions.

As fate will have it, thinking of the questions wasn’t good enough to consume all the time I had (can be tempted to lend you some if you can offer a good enough deal). So I delved deep into myself looking for the answers. It sure was a very difficult and irritating job to do. With all the entangled muscles, nerves, bones,…(my knowledge of biology sort of ends here) searching for the answers was one heck of a job. But again all my free time, as always came to the rescue (told you I would need a really nice deal from you to tempt me to take some free time) and I found the answers, which I enlist in the following paragraphs.

I found that this blog does deserve to be at that exact place where it is present now. This for one one simple reason – the fact that it is present at the place it is present now. Sort of confusing but all I mean is that the fact that this blog is present where it is present now is a good enough reason for it to be present at that particular location. I think its actually quite easy for us to question the things around us, but we would be actually (this does feel good sometimes, Mr. Chinmaya Kumar Sharma) much better of accepting the things we are not able enough to change.

Coming to another very important question regarding the pains it takes to blog and their worth. The pains, as it might not seem initially, are numerous. They can be roughly listed as follows – finding the time to blog, finding good topics to write on and actually (now I overdo it, just as an example for you, Mr. Chinmaya Kumar Sharma) find that spark within to convert a decent idea to well written highly appreciated piece. Here I have not mentioned the not so trivial requirements as having a computer, internet connection, keyboard, electricity, so on and so forth (having a blog suddenly seems to be a damn cool thing after all!). Going, back to the list of the pains, if you are observant enough you might have seen (otherwise read it again), blogging requires a lot of “findability” (which I hope might be supposed to quantify your ability at finding things). So once again the loads of free time I have got, helps me out and guides me effortlessly through the difficult path one must traverse before he/she can blog. Now coming to my case, in a truer sense, if you are patient and willing enough to have a look at the pains, for me there are none – no problem of time (this has already been over stated), the rest two are not my mug (here they use unusually large mugs as cups) of tea.

Finally, coming to the worth of all the not so paining pains taken, they again are numerous as you might have again not been able to conceive. Firstly, it takes quite a lot of my free time (sad… but excess of everything is actually (no comments Mr. Chinmaya Kumar Sharma) bad). Secondly, it makes you aware all the people reading this of all the free time amidst them. Thirdly, I know it frustrates you like hell to read this. Fourthly, three reasons are enough. Finally, there must be other reasons as well (I can’t even dream that I am “paramjnani”).

So finally, finally this post is over. Sorry once again for such a long post. Thank you once again for reading it through (if you indeed have). A return, literally, to the English world.

If by any chance you at any point of thought why the title? Because this has been actually got a lot of frustness rid off me. :D

The second post

Sorry for everything on this blog till now... the blog name, the title of the previous post, the post itself... everything and for this post too (to avoid beginning the next post with a sorry note!). I had thought that once I'll start writing ideas will start flowing into my mind. But sadly that is exactly what is not the case. So to keep it simple I'll write about my stay in London. This is the one thing I had thought of not writing about but as it is this is the only thing coming to my mind right now. Quite like I am studying in the IIT I had thought I'll never go!!!
So on 3rd May, I embarked on the journey from Kolkata to London. The feeling was more like, 'this can't be true'. Just 10 hours and 45 min and you are in London, a whole new world, that's what I had thought of it then. Throughout the drive from Heathrow to home I sat absorbing the feeling of 'being in London'. It was as if I had achieved a very remarkable feat (must admit all the euphoria created by friends did contribute a lot). Just a days rest and before I knew it was 7am and I was getting ready to go to office. I was really amusing first few days in the office. While I would be doing some work or chatting some person would drop by and finish all that he had to say before I could come to terms that some one is indeed talkignto me. It was actually kind of fun giving replies as "yes" and "no" just hoping that I had guessed correctly! Through this guess work I got introduced to quite a few people, turned down an offer to go to bar and may be many more things like these. I was also very happy and impressed that I had got a computer as soon as I reached office. (How could I have I ever survived without gtalk n stuff?) I had lunch with my new colleagues, all of whom were post grad or research associates. While all of the other people bought funny looking food, I kept on opening my tiffin-box with ma ke haath ka bana khana. One day I dared to eat as these englishmen did, and believe me it will take a lot of courage to eat any other of their delicacies again. I tried tea and coffee once but those were no better. One very intereseting thing I observed here is the frequency with which people over here use the word "thanks". Once while returning from a lunch we were about 4-5 people coming in a train thanking other person for not letting the door slam on his face. It was a bunch of people walking very fast and thanking each other intermittently!
But the most striking thing I noticed here was the abundance of Indians. On the road, in the tubes, buses, high streets... everywhere you go you find Indians in abundance. Have even seen shops named Palika Bazaar, Chandni Chowk, Popat Stores to name a few.
Yes! a very important part of my training is going on at home. Starting from carrying huge weights of groceries to kneading wheatflour to maaroing jhaadu and pochha.... Even didi had started calling me RAMU!!!(yes apurva you indeed are great!)
So this is almost the end of a very boring description of not so boring life I'm leading here in London. Almost coz, I have just a small incident which I would like to share. Just a gift for all your patience and perseverence.
Earlier today, I had the privilege to go to a bar for a b'day party of a post grad in office. I went there hesitating and expecting. Hesitating because I was invited by the prof and not the b'day boy. Expecting because I hoped to eat or drink something for free. But alas! I reach there and find everyone goes and pays for his own order. I bought a huge glass of cranberries juice costing me 1.45£, amazed that it was really a b'day treat sort of. I lingered on over there for some time taking leave as soon as I was asked for another round of drink!!!