Food and Hunger

I have been living. Since 21 years and a few months I have been continuously living. God! I have done one heck of a job! I know there are infinite no of people who have done much better than myself and will keep doing. Nevertheless, that doesn’t take anything away from me. I have made most of the time available to me! I mean, I couldn’t have lived even a femtosecond more than I’ve been able to live. ;)

I think. Yes, sometimes, I think. I think of my life, its purpose, worth and related stuffs. Generally, the conclusion is that I am the best. Not as in “better than Albert Einstein”. But the best form of Rohan Singh possible. I am a person who is obsessed with “mediocrity”. I have never worked hard for anything in life. I might have fared “better” on umpteen occasions. I lack the killer instinct so very essential for survival in the cut-throat competition of this world. I, very sincerely, feel that I have been very lucky to have had all the various experiences of my life. Be it the bigger joys or the smaller trivialities or the greatest disasters. But, I am happy. I am satisfied.

Yes, dad says that this is the reason I don’t do well enough. I pacify myself by telling that this is the reason I’m happy. (Dad wants me to work hard; I in turn ask him to maaro peace a bit. Both would do well to pay heed to each other. But the stubborn father-son duo that we are, we only end up giving mom some more things to worry about.) I do realize that this situation might not last forever. I fear that I might run out of this luck. I dread that someday I would look back into my life and find opportunities lost, chances missed and dreams shattered.

Well, again I don’t do much about it either. I just hope that whenever that day, that moment arrives; alongside the lost opportunities, missed chances and shattered dreams; I find some successes enjoyed, some laughs had and some food eaten. :D

विचारधारा

I am here yet again, with nothing specific on my mind. Or should I say nothing at all but for the intent of writing yet another post! Yes, it definitely is too soon for another post. But then what’s the point if I don’t blog when I just cannot think of doing any other thing. I had planned to pen something down in my diary to save you all the trouble of going through this, but ditched that idea.

I happened to watch Bommarillu for the 2^nd time tonight. It is a great movie. It had inspired me, though temporarily, to write something about 'love'. Thought I would also share my ingenious thoughts on the subject. May be, a third person's viewpoint. ;) I had even thought about some “great” lines. For example: “Love is all around us. Apart from the usual form of love, there are other forms which we do not usually call love. Like hatred might be seen as negative love, absence of love as imaginary love.” Thank god better sense prevailed!

Actually, I shy away from talking of my feelings. Somehow I am very uncomfortable with it. Laugh and shout as I may, I am still very much an introvert. All is fine until someone asks me, “So this is what you think. Interesting! May I know why?” This is the situation I don’t ever want to be in. I have always had a problem explaining myself to others. So, the best thing according to me is to prevent that uncomfortable question from being thrown at me. And the best way to achieve this is to prevent the question from popping inside the would-be question poser’s head.

Enough of confessions! The introvert inside me is awake again. Hence I once again take leave. Actually, I could have blabbered a lot more as usual. For a change, I have decided otherwise. Why? That I wouldn’t tell you! :P