A dropped year!

An apology: This is an insanely long post. I have failed miserably in trying to keep it shorter than very long post. 

 

Well! I should be getting ready for yet another rendezvous with yet another end-sem examination. But as it stands, as always, I have left the getting ready part for now. Actually, I am getting ready to get ready for the exams! I’ll put an end to all the ‘frust’ talk right now. I would spend some time (words too) in retrospection of my life in the year I had dropped after 12th.

 

When, the result of JEE-2004 had come, I was obviously disappointed. It was not that I had worked very hard. That I was not going to qualify had been a fact that I had already known much before the result was out. But for some intangible reason, when I watched my rejection written in red on the computer screen, I was very disappointed. It was not the way I had thought I would take it. Actually it was when Mummy started to console me; it sunk in that I was actually acting dejected. I knew I had to take another chance. I also knew that I didn’t want to stay over at home. I and a friend of mine (Chandan) had almost decided that we would be going to Kota. Papa came back from work. He asked me my future plans. I told him about going to Kota. He agreed. I couldn’t believe my ears. I had hoped for some scolding, some questions, anything but not a “theek hai”. He was disappointed for sure. But still all he took was a millisecond to give the green signal. Initially, I was delighted. But soon this delight was replaced by shame. I felt bad that my father was unlucky to have a son like me.

 

Anyways, we made plans. Pretty soon I was aboard Poorva express from Dhanbad without reservation. It was one hell of a journey with infinite rush. Luckily I had Minhas (Papa’s driver) to accompany me. Somehow we reached Delhi, rested for a few hours, met Papa, who had to come there for some official visit and left for Kota. I reached Kota, had a very hectic day, found a couple of rooms (there was another friend, Ashish and 2 of his cousins) and settled down. Early next morning, Minhas was gone. I tried to wipe my specs, and it broke into 2 parts. I was delighted. I couldn’t believe my luck!

 

Time moved on. I gave the entrance test of Bansal Classes (BC). I failed to qualify! It was again running around time trying to find some way to get admitted. Back home I had caught this habit of studying with songs playing on the comp. In Kota I was restless to get a walkman. I ask Papa for one. He asked me to just wait until I get the admission thing fixed. I reminded him again next time I talked to him. Again, he agreed!

 

Somehow, I got admission in BC. Everything was going on fine. I had slowly got into the habit of studying a bit. Then suddenly I fell sick. I remember, feeling dizzy, tired and totally hapless. I used to keep myself covered with blanket with the afternoon "Kota" sun beating on me hoping that fever might go away! After gitting the tests done, I came to know that I had typhoid.  Then came Mummy and Papa! I was delighted to meet them. I took a sigh of relief - “Now everything is going to be all right.” Papa went after a few days. And then began Mummy’s ordeal! She stayed with me. It is actually impossible to write of the troubles she might have faced and hence I’ll just skip it. She left towards the end of December.

 

I returned back to Bokaro around 21^st March. Had a couple of very chaotic and upset weeks leading up to JEE, following the demise of Mausaji (he lived next door). I was lucky enough to have cleared JEE. Maybe it was because Mausi had told me: “Achchhe se padho. IIT pakka niklega. Mausa sabko keh diye hain ki tumhara IIT mein ho gaya hai.”

 

Whatever be the case, here I am wasting time just before another end-sem. It would be a perfect irony if I flunk Monday’s paper. (I hope I escape yet again!) Oh no! I am not done. Not quite!

 

Sometime after JEE (I don’t remember exactly if the results were out) Mamaji had called. He was talking to Papa about something related to Kota. Papa was telling him the changes visible in me. He told that I had started eating almost every vegetable. (He can’t even imagine what Kgp has done to me!) He also mentioned something that, I think, I would not be able to forget ever. He told him that on meeting him in Delhi, after the horrible train journey, I had smiled. I overheard him say that, the smile on my face had made him feel proud. (He liked that I could smile even after having a terrible time.) Well! I was delighted. Even today when I think of it, I am delighted. Maybe, it wasn’t all that big a thing. Maybe it was an over-statement on Papa’s part. Who cares!

 

I saw a lot in that one year. I faced adverse situations. I saw world changing in a day. Most importantly, I came to know my parents better. This is, by no means all. I haven't even mentioned of the great time we friends had there. This was mostly a salute to my parents. There are still infinite things that can be mentioned. There would be many I have forgotten and still many more which I wouldn’t have any idea about! I have shouted on them on umpteen occasions. I have been unjust towards them. But, I haven’t ever told them that I love them. Not even once. I don’t think that I ever would. It isn’t required. :)

FAT(E)al

Why did I clear JEE? If someone had asked this question about three years ago, back then, I would have told - to study. If the question pops up now, I would probably say - to forget studies and secure a decent future. Maybe 5-10 years down the line, if someone happens to ask me this same very question, the answer, I’m sure, is going to be starkly different. I feel my reply then would most likely be: “To watch movies…”

 

Oh no, all you people out there (in front of your respective computer/laptop screens), don’t you dare write it off as yet another thoughtless blabbering. In fact, all of you should commend me for this. Yeah, you for sure can’t figure out any genius here right? Well, sample this:

“You know, when I had sailed off in “The Pursuit of Indya”, I was very much hopeful of finding it. But little did I know then that God had different intentions. God was actually guiding me towards America...”

-          Christopher Columbus

(Discovery of America Speech – 1517)

 

Still didn’t get it? Come on! All right, all right! I am explaining. Christopher Columbus needed almost a quarter of a century to realize that God was playing a game with him. That all the glory and fame was just his destiny! And here I am, right in front of my laptop screen, in full consciousness knowing what God has been doing with me.

 

Why are all of you so blank? I can't believe it. What, you still don't get it? Well, all that I am trying to get into your thick-as-a-wall head is this: I have cracked God’s/Gods’ code. Well, it is not exactly “the code”; but it most certainly is a small sub-program/function, of “the code”, which takes care of the days I spend in IIT. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I hereby confirm that I now know what exactly this/these God/Gods are trying to do. I know this right now when He/She/They is/are all busy playing this very game with me.

 

Yes! finally you all get it, right? Don’t even dare say “No”! ;)