I dream of the day i would be dead
Not mourning, rejoicing instead
Rejoicing why? I don't know yet
But hope to find out once I'm dead.
Not that this life I do not like
Nor am i sad, haven't found a wife
Still this thought in my mind lingers
I'd be better off in death's fingers
Yes, I know, I am still young
And many years I'll be among
Life beyond life, what would it be?
No more pretending to be free
Sure there is sorrow, trouble all around
But I keep my peace, cursing the crowd
"I am very happy", to myself I say.
This too is as false as hearsay
"Free me of this sorrow, free me of this pain"
I send this prayer, though the prayer train
God says: "Of sorrow and pain, you'll sure be freed
But i will have to take your life as freeing fee..."
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About Me
- ronsin
- i lead a nondescript life and have a special knack of irritating friends
21 comments:
My favorite one on this blog. I wasn´t expecting to see something on this line on this blog at least.
Morbid at the first sight. True at the second. Deep thereafter. Very deep in fact.
My favourite stanza:
Yes, I know, I am still young
And many years I'll be among
Life beyond life, what would it be?
No more pretending to be free
In fact, a valid point raised!
i don't have to take much effort to beat myself, i guess... ;)
and yes... thanks for all the appreciation though...
:( tussi jaa rahe ho??
theek hai.. mil ke jana.. camera de jana.
aur about the poem.. likhi tto achhchhi hi hai!! :P
ab meaning nikaalne mein tto koi kitna bhi deep meaning nikaal sakta hai.. but i am so very sure that while wrtining it, you wouldn't have thought very deep! :P
but good attempt.. quite well written.. aur likh. padh lenge! :)
hello.. how are!
camera nahi doonga... :P waise main bahut hi gira hua insaan hoon... is liye deep thinking mein jyada fight nahi maarna padta hai... :D
khana kha k jaana haan!
so this frust mind is also capable of poetry....rather very good at it...nice one !
kya hogaya tumhe..itna kyun sochrahe ho..at this stage its harmful to think all those dude..waise poem is gud.
@genie
thanku... was surprised myself of the poetry if it can be called one...
@baachi
dont worry bhai... tum kuchh jyade hi seriously le lete ho mere posts ko... :P
Where was this side of Gandhi in so many years??
I guess you should write more poems.
It was a good change from all the crap contents that you had been posting (though they were interesting).
Very well written.
Keep poeming!! :D
@anurag
thanku... more poems... i'm not too sure... more of a fluke this one... :D though i can assure you much more crap... :D
Huhaa--i guess this one word suffices.
Ek baar fir se padh ke aur huhaa type se impress hoke appreciate karunga..
Jai Gandhi
ek baar kar diya kaafi hai... :D any more no of times is also welcome... ;)
A :O
saalaa :O
tum to kavi(real wala jaise ki Wordsworth, Shakespeare etc :P) ho gaye re!!!
Huhesh likhe ho, ekdumm perfect rhyme and perfect everything.
Keeping writing. :atb
@kisalay
bahut achchhe aadmi ho... khoob tareef karte ho... :)
nice one.....though any other poet would have written on this topic very seriously trying to make the reader think....but you have an immense capacity to amuse rather than muse :D ....even death's mention doesnt seem more alluring than your lines:
Rejoicing why? I don't know yet
But hope to find out once I'm dead.
and of course God's "freeing fee" was wonderful.
Nice post...keep writing...
@raven...
thanks for all the over praising... :D
Nor am i sad, haven't found a wife.... haha lagta hai kaafi bandiyon ke beach mein hai.
aur yeh bhi lagta hai ki tera prof tujhe ganne nikalne ki machine mein daal diya hai.
khair aise exprience se hi to mast blog banti hai.
carry oon the good work ...
@munshi
bhai bandi wandi k beech mein nahi hoon... waise ganne ka machine gud tha... :D
umm...as far as poetic sense and rhyming is concerned..i liked it..more because of not being aware of ur this talent earlier...but considering the 'dream' expressed herein...doesnt look good if a 20 some yr old sees it. this age actually marks the beginning when u start struggling, accepting ur responsibilities and if ur all enervated at the start itself...think of the years to come.
waise if u didnt actually mean what u wrote (which m sure the case is) u r getting better every time
@kandy
firstly i very much believed whatever i have written... the struggle will keep going on and on and on... one cant get rid of it... and also this post is not for wanting to die... nor on giving up on trying for a better life... so dont be too concerned... just wanted to convey that life without sorrow isn't possible... :)
this is i think kind of a graduation poem for you... it kind of marks the birth of a great poet in making! ;)
sincerely this is a masterpiece where u have expressed some serious and thought provoking thoughts very subtly, camouflaging it with childish rhyming.. that is what makes it gr8. one can connect with it depending upon his/her thinking. i read it once and was immediately forced to read 2 more times.. absorbing the meaning more clearly.
frankly i associate myself a great deal with your thoughts n poetry.. in this case too though somwht differently... mayb diff stages of realizations..
some outstanding expressions.. "many years i'll be among", "life beyond life", "I keep my peace, cursing the crowd"....
beautiful. i love it!!
@.
thanks a lot... i'm flattered... well! all the appreciations are very much cherished... i would like to clarify one thing though... the "childish rhyming" you have mentioned is all that i'm capable of my friend... ;) thanks anyways...
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